There are many ways to raise happy, well-adjusted kids, but science has a few tips for making sure they turn out okay. From keeping it fun to letting them leave the nest, here are 10 research-based tips for good parenting
Support the shy ones
A little shyness is one thing, but kids with behavioural self-consciousness — a trait that refers to shyness and also intense caution in the face of new situations — may be at higher risk of developing anxiety disorders, according to researchers. And parents who refuge kids demonstrating this kind of symptom (in effect, encouraging this shyness) may actually make the situation even worse.
So how do you support shy kids? The key is to get them out of their comfort zones without trying to change their nature. Why not just break them of their shy habbits? Research has shown that shyness is a part of some children’s personality and a very tricky trait to change. In other words, it’s better to work with shyness than against it.
Live in the moment
Adults are more likely to continually think about the future, but kids — especially pre-school-age kids (ages 2 to 5) — live in the moment, scientists say. To get on a kid’s level, parents need to be trained how to live in the moment, too.
As a replacement for of telling a 3 year old that it’s time to get ready for some future action, like going to school, parents should give their child a clear set of instructions. Replace indistinct statements like “it’s almost time for school” with clear, simple explanations and directions, such as, “We need to leave for school. It’s time to get your coat.”
Tell them how they feel
While older kids are generally regarded as the kings and queens of self-expression, young children often require the words to properly label their own emotions, according to researchers who study child development.
Kids ages 2 to 5 are just starting to recognize emotions like fear, frustration or disappointment. You can help your kid express herself by calling out such emotions when you see them. For example, a parent might say, “It’s disappointing that it’s raining outside, and you can’t go out to play..
Slow down
The frenzied schedule of middle age doesn’t always vibe with the relaxed pace of childhood.
“Children move at a slower rate,” and parents should try to match that pace. By setting up extra time for the little things, like a bedtime routine or a trip to the grocery store, parents can turn hectic chores into more meaningful time with their children, she said.
Remember, teenage irritability is real
Just when the bad temper of your child’s toddler years seems like ancient history, you can expect such emotional outburst to make another appearance.
Teenager kids (ages 11 to 19) deal with a lot of social, emotional and mental stress that they don’t yet have the ability to process or cope with. This can result in some serious tantrums, which might surprise the unwary parent.
In such situations, parents should stay calm and listen to their children. Modelling level-headed behaviour is a good way to teach your teen the proper way to deal with all that stress.
The golden rule
We’ll keep this one short and simple: You should not shout at your teenager. And I am serious, just don’t do it! The more you yell at a teen, the worse they’re likely to behave,